This indispensable reference guide offers hundreds of excuses for thousands of situations—from missed birthdays to unpaid parking tickets and more!Nobody ever said being an adult was easy. But it's definitely easier with hundreds of excuses for things you did, didn't do, or simply never want to hear about again. The Little Book of Big Excuses is your guide to saving face, avoiding blame, and getting out of almost any unpleasant situation. In “Fake, Don't Flake" you’ll learn how to successfully show up late—or not at all—to any number of places for any number of reasons. "Excusez-Moi, si'l vous plait" tells you just the right words to say if you're caught wearing a halter top to a black tie event. Or forget your boss's spouse's name (again). Or don't want to pick up the tab. The French have a word for everything. And you’ll always have an excuse for not calling, IMing, or emailing with the bonus chapter: “Delivery Subsystem Failure—Mailboxes, Messages, Missives Gone Awry, Oh My!”.