A poignant memoir of a caregiver's lifelong struggle to break through the barrier of her sibling's mental illness in search of sisterhood. Through evocative personal stories, Susan Grundy compassionately explores the devastating consequences of her older sister's severe mental illness. Her diagnosis of schizophrenia at age thirteen eventually leads their disheartened parents to move away to start a new life and to the jarring progression of Susan from a free-spirited little sister into a trapped caregiver. Susan, candidly and with brave honesty, describes the caregiver push-pull whirlpool where she alternates between fury at her sister's resentful and jealous moods and being flooded with sympathy and guilt - why her and not me? But still, Susan is unable to step away. This memoir, slipping back and forth in chronology, underlines how the past infuses the present. The sisters' journey is woven with resilience and humour and radiates with the potential for well-being and hope despite the collateral damage of a mental illness.